Out-of-context things me and my friends/classmates/acquaintances have said (part 6)

 "Whoops I started a war."

"The yellow ink is bringing about his downfall."

"I managed to trap my arm in my sleeve, help"

"The children in my basement aren't screaming for once!"

(after tricking someone into being happy) "haha mortal you have fallen into my trap"

"I'm very annoyed that my dad is broken"

"How are you... alive?"

"This carrot is much too powerful."

"wow good job you drugged a literal demon"

"Steve is under your bed. Steve knows your sins."

"So we have to continually almost die."

"It's called developing crippling alcoholism."

"Maybe if I put a knife in my head they'll get the hint?"

"Okay let's go tell our intrusive thoughts to stab their intrusive thoughts!"

"If you want, I can give you a nickname. How about 'beans'?"

Person A: "wait where did my grammar go"
Person B: "lol it's gone it dipped"
Person C: "it left with the brain cells and mental stability"

Out-of-context things me and my friends/classmates/acquaintances have said (part 5)

 "My anxiety is a narcissist."

"HEAR ME OUT! ...cannibalism."

(singing) "we're off to destroy any and all emotional attachments we have to everyone we've ever met"

"Adding to the list of people we hate, mentally stable people."

"Gonna eat a heart attack"

"HA! I tricked you into being happy!"

"Haha revenge of the brain happy juices"

"arrow dynamics"

"THE PAIN TOMATO IS KILLING ME"

"Everyone needs a designer chainsaw."

Person A: "No"
Person B: "Yes"
Person A: "No"
Person B: "Yes"
Person A: "Left"
Person B: "Not again-"

"Warning: If you see me existing, check on me."

Out-of-context things me and my friends/classmates/acquaintances have said (part 4)

 "Now, I appreciate how transparent we're being here, but if you want to talk about stabbing me, you might want to go someplace else."

"How do become sociopath?"

"Screw it, I have three favorite humans now."

"Screw governments and also bread."

"Yeah, you're only like a fifth of the way dead to me."

"Are you the demon under my bed and my FBI agent?"

"[song about how we shouldn't stab him because he just wants to share pufferfish with everyone]"

Person A: Shut up, you sound like the voices inside my head.
Person B: I am the voices in your head.
Person C: (sends picture of Bob the Tomato with the caption "*unsure sounds*")

"I got a whole entire motivation without any drugs!"

"OF ALL THE COUNTRIES I COULD HAVE BEEN BORN IN, OF COURSE IT WAS AMERICA"

(morning before a huge test in our history class)
Person A: "Did you actually study, or just cry in a closet?"
Person B: "both"

"...I just misgendered Abraham Lincoln."

"Funny story! Yesterday I missed a therapy appointment!" (Pause) "That's the whole story."

Out-of-context things me and my friends/classmates/acquaintances have said (part 3)

 "Oh my gosh the insane cod exists."

"Welcome to level 25 of spinal cord dementia."

"oops I broke a spoon with an amiibo"

"arson tree."

"Remember that time we shipped [Name] with the Persians?"

"If I repeatedly hit my head against the wall will my instincts go away?"

Person A: "[Name] do you want to join the resistance against [Minecraft government]?"
Person B: "yes. please. what time. how much. when. who needs to die."

"why does this snake look like it's a pair of crocs?"

"According to [teacher], I dyed my hair with the blood of unicorns."

"Put the chicken bones away."

"Well now I have an intense hatred for people named Irene."

"Woo PTSD"

(in the middle of class) "I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE A JOKE BUT I'M SERIOUS IF I SAID EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I WOULD BE VERY MUCH A LOT ARRESTED RIGHT NOW"

Out-of-context things me and my friends/classmates/acquaintances have said (part 2)

 (in the middle of the hallway) "YOU MAY BE TALLER THAN ME BECAUSE YOU HAVE MORE STEROIDS THAN ME, BUT I'M STILL STRONGER THAN YOU"

"[Name] come here, we have to have a conversation about gay penguins."

"DAWN, [incoherent] WANTS TO EAT YOUR TOES."

"I can obtain you a knife."

"Tell Satan to shut up, I'm happier than usual."

Person A: "Okay I thought we agreed no more crimes until tomorrow?"
Person B: "But I have 94 warrants for my arrest."

"You can always go on a killing spree. Can't hurt to prepare dinner early, am I right?"

"Eminemineminemineminemineminem."

"I need glue, popsicle sticks, and a will to live."

"I have a father on a stick."

"Give me back my eye hydration."

"I am an anxious sock."

"Please refrain from allowing the bird to make you eat yourself."

Out-of-context things me and my friends/classmates/acquaintances have said (part 1)

-"No, I sacrificed my whole soul to Technoblade"

-"I guess theoretically I could eat my blanket"

-"My house is homeless-"

-"Sorry I'm late, I was busy creeping out the neighborhood against my will"

-"I am being emailed by a taco"

-"Bruh, my tortellini is clipping"

-"Trick or treat or get arrested"

-"I want a cyanide cherrio"

-"Return the cookies or I shall unleash the power of the drugged demon lords."

-"Randomly becoming blind is acceptable"

-"help me I just burned my hand on cheese"

-(points at me) "Don't talk to that one, she kills children."

-"The heart attack is named Robert."