"Now, I appreciate how transparent we're being here, but if you want to talk about stabbing me, you might want to go someplace else."
"How do become sociopath?"
"Screw it, I have three favorite humans now."
"Screw governments and also bread."
"Yeah, you're only like a fifth of the way dead to me."
"Are you the demon under my bed and my FBI agent?"
"[song about how we shouldn't stab him because he just wants to share pufferfish with everyone]"
Person A: Shut up, you sound like the voices inside my head.
Person B: I am the voices in your head.
Person C: (sends picture of Bob the Tomato with the caption "*unsure sounds*")
"I got a whole entire motivation without any drugs!"
"OF ALL THE COUNTRIES I COULD HAVE BEEN BORN IN, OF COURSE IT WAS AMERICA"
(morning before a huge test in our history class)
Person A: "Did you actually study, or just cry in a closet?"
Person B: "both"
"...I just misgendered Abraham Lincoln."
"Funny story! Yesterday I missed a therapy appointment!" (Pause) "That's the whole story."
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